


Kissing You

by germanjj



Category: Call Me By Your Name (2017) RPF, Call Me By Your Name - All Media Types
Genre: Boys In Love, First Kiss, First Time, M/M, One Shot, but you know, i mean like, obviously not the first kiss
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-31
Updated: 2019-12-31
Packaged: 2021-02-27 14:00:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,734
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22058170
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/germanjj/pseuds/germanjj
Summary: Timmy looks at him as if there are a thousand things he wants to say but doesn’t know what to start with so he stays silent and all of it, every single thought, is cascading across his face and Armie drowns in the words he doesn’t speak and he wants to say ‘Me too, I’ve missed you, too’.
Relationships: Timothée Chalamet/Armie Hammer
Comments: 12
Kudos: 116





	Kissing You

**Author's Note:**

> Let's start 2020 right. This is a one-shot recreating the same choreography as a popular scene in a very popular movie. 
> 
> // no beta / English is not my first language / don't like, don't read / I don't know these people / this is all made up

The cold water bites pleasantly into Armie’s heated skin, relieving a bit of the headache forming behind his eyes. He’s tempted to put his head in the sink under the spray but decides against it, mindful of the Hollywood executives outside he doesn’t want to face looking like a drowned Labrador. So he wipes the water off his face, throwing the thick, lush towel in the basket under the sink, and he’s already counting down the minutes until he has shown enough of his face, smiled into enough cameras and shaken enough hands of important people who always promise a guaranteed spot in their next project and then turn around, having already forgotten all about him. 

He contemplates hiding out in the bathroom a little while longer but then the door opens and some vaguely familiar face ruins the illusion of peace, so he nods and smiles and steps out of the room. 

He makes his way back into the main ballroom, impressive with its two stories, a luxurious staircase, beautifully lined railings and two enormous fishtanks on either side of the entrance. Armie had seen them earlier but been to busy catching up with people he hadn’t seen in a while and should have called back months ago but now that he’s by himself he feels pulled towards them. The blue light emitting from behind the glass feels soothing somehow, as if it drowns out the rumbling noise of Hollywood's elite in the room, basking everything in the calming glow. 

Armie slips between the wall and the tank and even the chatter is not as loud here, like someone had turned down the volume to comfortable background noise. 

He takes a deep breath, a hand touching the cool glass. The fish are beautiful. Armie doesn’t remember being captivated by an aquarium in a long time but their colors fascinate him. He follows a group of them, bright oranges and yellows mixing with lush teals-their movement making the swarm seem like one big animal. Armie loses himself in the mesmerizing movements of the fish, rhythmic and peaceful, as if the world outside of the water maybe existed, but was irrelevant to their world. 

A song is starting in the background, a soothing dark voice filling the room, and Armie lets it wash over him, the music filling up his focus as much as the blue light of the tank does and he’s almost enjoying himself, even though he knows he’s somehow cheating, keeping to himself like this. 

A multicolored fish, a vibrating mix of lavender, blue and magenta, catches Armie’s eye and he follows its path through the water wishing he could name at least one of the animals he can see. It darts through the tank, swimming through a cluster of rocks and into fine, tangly water plants and then the fish is gone and instead the colors of a pair of eyes appear on the other side of the glass.

The music has already swollen to a powerful song, filling up the room so much even the most hardened exec has somehow stopped their chatting and turned to listen. Armie looks into the other set of eyes and they both move back and forth, the glass morphing the shapes, but Armie recognizes him instantly.

“Timmy.” The word escapes his lips, his heart leaping in surprise. 

Armie watches Timmy’s face change, recognition flicker over it and then turning into surprise, mouth open and eyes wide, and then joy spreads over it, something that Armie only ever sees so clearly expressed on Timmy’s face. 

That look of happiness tugs at Armie’s heart, too. 

Timmy’s brilliant smile turns into a full laugh, the light dancing off his sparkling eyes, like Armie’s private, precious world is now extending to him, surrounding him and making him part of it.

Armie could easily round the aquarium in three steps and pull Timmy into a big hug but he can’t take his eyes off that brilliant smile. Timmy doesn’t move either, perhaps too enamored with the play of light and water between them. 

He laughs out loud when Armie’s nose hits the glass. Armie can not hear him, but as he watches him laugh, he can hear the sound echo in his ears as if that memory is part of his own self, branded into him as to never forget a vital part of his life.

A second face appears next to Timmy’s, Brian, as he recalls his manager’s name, and he’s pulling him away from the aquarium and Timmy’s tumbling, walking backward with a look in his face as if he’s trying to say ‘Sorry, have to do some work stuff.’

Armie finally emerges from behind the tank, following Timmy into the room, the music and the newly started chatter assaulting him all at once but his eyes are filing through the crowd. He finds Timmy halfway across the room, a man in a suit and a woman in a stunning dress shaking Timmy’s hand one after the other, apparently making introductions. 

Armie doesn’t walk over. He lingers at the edge of the room, watching Timmy talk to these people, his gestures animated and his face excited. More people appear, building a circle around him. Pride claws at Armie’s chest, painful somehow, bittersweet. As if he’d discovered a jewel and is now both reluctant and eager to share it with the world. ‘Let them all see how amazing he is, how precious, how talented.’

Timmy’s eyes sweep over the crowd as he talks and then his gaze finds Armie’s and his lips curl into a smile that Armie returns, privately, as if they are sharing a secret. Timmy’s almost too far away to see but Armie watches him so intently, he can see that there’s a tinge to his cheeks, a blush creeping up on his face when he tries to look away from him and concentrate on his newfound fans.

The song ends and the music stops, pulling Armie out of his daze. Applause erupts from within the room, heads turning towards the stage once more as the host appears, a microphone in hand, a perfect smile on her face. There’s some shuffling again, people ceasing their conversations, ready to listen to the inevitable speech. 

Armie uses the time to sneak across the room, feeling almost invisible despite his tall frame, and he comes to stand by one of the impressive columns, one of four holding up the glass ceiling, where the moon is half-hidden behind clouds. Timmy’s only a few steps away, his back towards Armie, engrossed in the first few lines of the speech. 

Armie feels bold and ridiculous when he reaches for Timmy’s hand, lacing their fingers together before gently tugging him towards him. The stage light dances on Timmy’s face as Armie watches him sputter and blush and smile all at the same time and then his eyes find Armie’s behind him and crinkle at the edges. 

“You could have told me you’d be here,” Armie whispers in pretend outrage.

“I didn’t know you’d be here and it was kinda last minute.” Timmy tries his best to speak as quietly as possible, still halfway turned towards the stage, as if he wanted to at least make it look like he was following the speech. There’s laughter in his voice and Armie’s missed that sound so much, regardless of how often he was hearing it over the phone. The sound hits a deeper place in his heart now that he’s hearing it just a few feet away from him. 

Timmy still hasn’t let go of Armie’s hand, so Armie tugs again and this time Timmy slips away from his company to stand with Armie in the shadow of the column, his face tilted towards him, and Armie’s free hand finds Timmy’s other without much thought-Timmy’s answering touch as if he too isn’t aware of the unusual familiarity between them and as if, surrounded by a crowd of people, a hug would be too much of a display.

“It’s good to see you, man,” Timmy says, eyes bright and later Armie will remember looking at him and not knowing where they were or how they got there, not seeing anything but Timmy’s eyes meeting his and holding each other by their hands like lovers do. 

“Am I stealing you away from something?” Armie asks and watches confusion pass over Timmy’s face like he too had forgotten about everyone else. 

Timmy shakes his head. “Not really.”

“Wanna get out of here?” Armie feels giddiness bubble up inside him feeling like an eight-year-old who’s having a friend over, expecting his mother to scold him for being overexcited but unable to contain his joy. 

Armie notices Timmy’s eyes shine and suspects he’s feeling it too.

There’s one of two elevators just a few steps away and that’s where Armie leads them, something else creeping into the joy, growing more intense with every step. Anticipation maybe, or fear. Something that feels dangerously like butterflies and Armie pushes that thought far away. He can’t place it yet, like a storm brewing that hasn’t reached them yet, but that he can already smell in the air and see in the dark clouds and the nervous shuffle of the leaves on the trees. 

The elevator opens right away and Armie walks into the empty cab, pulling Timmy with him and even though the doors aren’t closed yet it’s quieter here, more private, as if they’ve stepped into another dimension, one where only the two of them exist. 

Armie’s still holding on to Timmy and now that they’re alone, he’s lost for words. 

Timmy looks at him as if there are a thousand things he wants to say but doesn’t know what to start with so he stays silent and all of it, every single thought, is cascading across his face and Armie drowns in the words he doesn’t speak and he wants to say ‘Me too, I’ve missed you, too’.

But no words come. 

Stuck in his throat, his heart pounding in his chest, his body knowing something his mind is only slowly beginning to grasp. He can’t take his eyes off Timmy. His curls are longer than the last time they’ve seen each other and Armie’s hands itch with the sudden urge to touch them. 

It’s been a long time since Armie has touched him and he feels his face heating at the thought, at how it sounds in his head. He doesn’t remember missing it, doesn’t recognize the want to get closer that slams into him now that he’s in front of him. That _something_ keeps on building inside him, makes his mouth go dry and pulse race, breaking down walls Armie doesn’t remember building. 

The elevator is closing, agonizingly slow, promising them a moment of privacy in this small space, a stolen moment after months and months of only texts and phone calls, and the doors are not even fully shut yet when Armie finds himself surging forward, hands flying up to Timmy’s face, and he tilts his head and kisses him. 

Time doesn’t stop. Instead, it lunges into a crescendo, speeding up and exploding the moment their lips touch and there’s no hesitation, no second thought, no thoughts at all, as Timmy reaches for Armie, pulls him down by his forearms and falls into the kiss.

Memories are rushing back to Timmy, memories of comfortable pecks, lazy kisses, guided make-out sessions. This kiss now is nothing like this. It’s messy and desperate and out of control, like two forces crashing colliding.

They’re drowning in each other. Armie’s hands cradling his face, one buried deep in his hair, and Timmy answers in kind, has one arm slung around Armie’s neck and the other finding a hold on the small of Armie’s back, pressing him closer. 

The ride to the first floor is short, the elevator announcing its destination with a low ding and already the doors are moving to open up, letting the world back in and Timmy’s not ready to let go of Armie yet, after having found him just now, after having gotten a taste of something that feels brand new and long lost all the same. 

They break apart, spilling out of the elevator as people are pushing past them, their clasped hands losing each other in the shuffle.

“Timmy, Timmy!” a voice calls him. “You gotta talk to…” Brian shouts and appears by his side, but Timmy doesn’t hear the end of that sentence before Armie finds his hand again and pulls him back into the elevator. 

The ding comes, the doors closing again, and Timmy finds Armie’s gaze on him, as wondrous and astonished as Timmy feels and this time it’s Timmy who moves first, who falls into Armie like they’re magnets, drawn to one another by a force stronger than them. He’s reaching for Armie, finding the lips he’s been craving as if the last time was years ago and he’d been missing them ever since. 

“Timmy,” Armie whispers between kisses, chanting the word against his lips like they’re sacred and Timmy curls into him, his whole body flush with Armies, every inch of him on fire. 

When the elevator stops this time, neither of them is ready to let go, adrenaline spiking through Timmy and he thinks ‘Let them see. Let them see.’

“Jesus Christ,” comes the curse that wakes Timmy up and he turns and finds Brian’s scolding gaze on them. He doesn’t say anything else, instead, he reaches for Timmy like Armie had before, pulling him away and Timmy wants to protest but is stunned by what happened as reality is crashing over him like a wave. 

He watches Brian throw Armie a dark look as he stumbles after him.

They’re swallowed up in the crowd immediately. He hears people calling out his name but doesn’t recognize any of them. 

They stop for a moment, Brian talking to someone vaguely familiar and Timmy smiles obediently, turning away the second he can. 

He touches a finger to his mouth as if he could touch the kiss itself but only finds a ghost of the tingling Armie’s lips have caused. 

Armie.

Who had kissed him.

He’s pulled up the steps again, in a tortures mockery of a dance, as if he is caught in a storm, picked up and thrown about like a rag doll. 

They pause at the top and Timmy forces himself to breathe, slowly and deeply, calming his nerves. His eyes fall on the elevator and he half expects to find himself in there, a past self, someone he’d left behind just moments ago but could never return to. 

“We got five minutes with him,” Brian keeps on talking and Timmy realizes he’s missed already half of it, doesn’t know who they are meeting and what for and he can’t bring himself to care. Not when his heart can’t stop beating and his mind is replaying the look on Armie’s face, right before he pulled him in. The desire he had seen, the expression of wonder and love, made Timmy shudder. 

Brian tugs at him relentlessly but Timmy stays, his gaze searching through the people on the ground floor and he finds Armie easily, looming over most of them, his eyes fixed on him and Timmy blushes, sure everyone must see him looking, must see Timmy staring back. They must know what had just happened by watching them, blushed and breathless and flustered like teenagers. 

He meets Armie’s eyes and now time does come to halt.

‘You kissed me’, Timmy thinks, watching Armie’s face change into a blank mask, eyes widening as if what they’d done is only now hitting him. ‘You kissed me. And I kissed you. And I would give the world to be able to do it again.’

“Tim, come on!” Brian’s voice barely pierces through.

‘I love you’, Timmy thinks, something breaking inside him, something heavy and precious, bursting apart and falling into place, filling up all the little empty spaces until he’s full and whole and one. ‘I love you’, he tries the thought again and Armie’s brows furrow, his gaze faltering and Timmy’s sure that Armie can see his thoughts on his face as if he is writing them on a wall for everyone to see.

‘I love you, Armie Hammer, and you love me, and we are doomed, now that we know.’


End file.
